Love Came Down: My Mighty Counsellor
I feel especially honoured to share this post with you as part of our Love Came Down series. Louise is on an enormously challenging journey and her faith is incredibly real and powerful. I hope you are encouraged through her experience of God as our Mighty Counsellor. L x
This year has been a challenging one for me. After three years of intensive therapy for borderline personality disorder, I said goodbye to my therapist and therapy. I had to learn to rely on God instead of my therapist.
The end of therapy was something I often tried to ignore because I didn’t want to face it. When I finished group therapy at the end of 2015, I held on to the fact that I was still to have individual sessions. I had struggled with a fear of abandonment and rejection for as long as I could remember.
My way of coping with the fear had often been self-harm and threats of suicide. I was worried that saying goodbye to my individual therapist would trigger all of that. I was certain I would not cope and that I would end my life.
In Isaiah, we are promised a child – someone who will become our Saviour, who will grow up to become Mighty Counsellor, Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6)
This year, I have learned what it means for Him to be Mighty Counsellor. Jesus was waiting there patiently for me to run to Him. He was waiting for me to lean on Him as my Mighty Counsellor and my Prince of Peace, and He has promised that I am His for eternity. He will never forsake me. In Jesus I have all I need, and I don’t need to fear abandonment or rejection any longer.
Jesus’ love has been instrumental in my healing. His love has helped me to survive the really bad days. He has been my strength when I have had none. He is there constantly. When I feel overwhelmed or distressed and turn to Jesus, I know peace. When I feel scared and alone and turn to Jesus in prayer, I feel comforted. For He knows all of me. He knows my fears, my thoughts, my past, my present, and yet He loves me. He doesn’t get angry when I mess up.
Life with borderline personality disorder and depression isn’t easy. But with my Mighty Counsellor and Prince of Peace, I have hope. God gave me a gift I never deserved when Jesus came down into the world, and He did it out of love.
Louise works in the care sector and worships at Holy Trinity Clapham. She writes a blog called Jesus, BPD and Me. She loves knitting, a good book and a cup of tea. Louise is passionate about seeing God transform the lives of young women through His love.