I look through my diary for the next couple of weeks, and take a deep breath (and eat some smarties - they always help). That niggling overwhelming feeling sets in, and I start to worry that I need to add 'breathe' to my to do list, just in case I forget. How on earth will I get everything done?
Then when that rare spare evening does come round, I want to seize the opportunity and save the world by achieving 15 different things. But in reality, I end up doing one thing - rather badly - and am left feeling despondent and useless.
I so want to be someone who takes life totally in my stride, who is totally easy going and laid back. I want to live freely as a daughter of Jesus. I want to relish the opportunities He has given me, and jump at the chances I have to make even tiny, small differences in the lives of those around me.
But I feel so far away from this: I feel so weak, tired and overwhelmed, sometimes just by looking at my diary. In 2 Corinthians 12:10, Paul says:
"That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
This verse can sound a bit back to front - why does Paul say that when he is weak, he is strong? It's because when we are weak, we realise that we can't do everything on our own. We realise that it's not all about us. We acknowledge who we are before God - that we are in desperate need of a saviour, of forgiveness and of His love.
And with this truth comes great strength: the strongest ever strength (excuse the poor grammar but you know what I mean). Our loving Heavenly Father is unshakeable. He walks hand in hand with us, every step, every minute, every day. He commanded the entire universe into being, and also knows my name, my deepest anxieties and biggest dreams.
Half-way through a busy term, it is a good moment for us to take a breath, look at where we are. Are we trusting in God as our strength? Or do we think that we can get through the weeks ahead on our own? Or perhaps we feel ok most of the time, and that we will call on God when the going gets tough.
God is our only true strength. We can easily think that our strength is in our brains, our looks, our popularity, our sporting success, our family background, our ability to make things happen, or our money. The world will tell us we can get by on our own (or perhaps with a little help from our friends), but the Bible is clear: 1 Corinthians 16:11:
"Look to The Lord and his strength. Seek his face always."
Let's seek his face, and get on our knees in prayer - and literally on our knees as it helps us remember who God is.
God is our strength. He is never shaken.
Emma graduated from Cambridge two years ago, having studied law. She now enjoys working in finance, which comes as a surprise to those who know her. Emma lives in Cambridge and loves being a member of Christ Church. She loves music, food, Jesus, her friends and since her wedding in April this year (!) is loving the adventure of marriage!