Rags to Riches: From One Single Girl To Another
There is a lot of advice about dating out there, sometimes made more complicated than it needs to be! In this week's post, Lizzie helps us here to nurture a healthy, Christ-like attitude towards dating and relationships. I hope this blesses many of you! N x
Do you wish that guy in church would finally ask you out? Are all your friends getting into serious relationships? Do you love God, but wish He would finally bring that special person into your life? Maybe you even think you could discover new areas of faith together, that a man would bless your relationship with God.
Well if any of those are true for you, you are certainly not alone. ALL of the above have been very true for me at some point or another!
“You are beautiful, my darling, beautiful beyond words. Your eyes are like doves behind your veil. Your hair falls in waves, like a flock of goats winding down the slopes of Gilead.” (Song of Songs 4:1)
This man is completely in love with the woman.
However, no-one will ever love you more than God. You are a beautiful woman, and you were created for a unique purpose. God wants you to know Him fully and to continue seeking Him every day. Once we realise that no love will ever compare to God’s love for us, we can stop seeking our need to be loved elsewhere.
Maybe you don’t know God very well or maybe you feel like He’s more of an old friend who you haven’t spent much time with lately. Regardless, He loves you more than you can imagine and He wants you to seek Him and His kingdom above all else. (Matthew 6:33)
You may have a particular guy in mind from who you would love to hear the words of Song of Songs. Whilst I encourage being aware of the good men in your life (this is healthy for your perspective of men, especially if you’ve been hurt before), I would recommend not letting this distract from your own personal growth.
Sometimes we spend too much time focusing on the person we want to be with, that we forget to focus on the person we want to be. We should “fix our eyes on the author and finisher of our faith.” (Hebrews 12:2)
This doesn’t mean that we should turn down all men because we are worried of losing our focus on God, but it does mean that we shouldn’t be consumed by the prospect of finding a suitable partner.
I’m learning that it’s not my responsibility to be constantly seeking someone. God knows who is right for me and as long as I am keeping an open mind, I won’t miss them!
“Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." (Psalm 37:4)
You may have heard other women refer to this time of singleness as a blessing. You’re probably thinking (if they’re married) “yeah easy for you to say!” Or you may just be thinking “that’s great for you, but I don’t really see that.” But there is truth in their words. There is no better time to seek God wholeheartedly. God has adventures for you that you need to do on your own.
If marriage is one of those desires of your heart, it is important to be praying about this. Pray for the man you want to marry. I read a blog post that was titled something like the ’23 qualities of a woman worth dating.’ I found it interesting to see whether these were things I thought I was doing well, but at the same time I remembered that it’s ok if I’m not quite there. It’s also important to realise that a man may come along before I’m completely there!
We will still be growing as women after we meet our partner, discovering the women we are meant to be.
We should be open to where God is leading us in our time of singleness.
I’ve spoken quite a bit about ourselves and our relationship with God, but that does not mean that we shouldn’t be thinking about the kind of partner we are looking for too. Look more at the heart and the character of a man rather than whether they fit a “type” you probably made a list of as you were growing up.
I realise that I’ve primarily addressed those who have a desire to get married one day. I am aware that marriage isn’t for everyone, and I know there are many great women out there who go on to do great things without ever getting married. I truly admire this and want to encourage you if you feel God is calling you to a life of singleness.
Whatever is on your heart, keeping seeking God above all else because He LOVES you and wants good things for you.
“ And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” (Romans 8:28)
Lizzie is from Cambridge, but is currently studying abroad in France for her second and final semester before returning to the University of Birmingham to complete her degree in French with Business Management. She loves languages, dance, writing and theology! She has a passion for learning more, and building deep friendships. We are excited to welcome Lizzie to the blog!